Not to get on my high horse and act like a definitional authority on “what is queer,” but I think of it much more as an active verb than as a stagnant noun. When I think of myself as queer I think about how my identity and life are shaped by questioning what relationships/sex/love look like and being okay when the answers I end up with are inconsistent with what I grew up thinking, what my friends are doing, or how I lived last year. I think queer is about refusing the idea of “normal” and hierarchies that privilege some ways of being over others. When we say that there are the RADICAL QUEERS and boring, uncomplicated heteros, we are complicit in the system we are trying to challenge— the system that says that categories are natural and pressures people to squeeze themselves inside. We also throw away the opportunities for political coalition when we kick some people out of the queer club because their desires operate differently than ours. Instead of policing the boundaries of queerness, why don’t we welcome everyone that wants to fight under its banner for more expansive ways of seeing the world?
A cartoon picture of a girl and boy holding hands. Text: I hate that you make me feel like I can’t be queer just because i’m hetero romantic.
